i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
