I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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