Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
