The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
