and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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