That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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