Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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