You can't special order awesome
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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