I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
