She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
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So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize