i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
