Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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