What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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