Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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