part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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