I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
