They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
