Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
