There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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