he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
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He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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