We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
