So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
