So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
