he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
