talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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