Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It was confusing and full of hummus
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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