8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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