We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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