similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
