Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize