There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I need to stop coming to work sober
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
