so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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