Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
