I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
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Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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