Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
