I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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