And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
