Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
