i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
