I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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