This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?