Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....