i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize