she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Green mimosas i think yes
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
