U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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