I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Are my feet made of real feet?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
