I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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