Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
