Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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