I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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