Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
