Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
