Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
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Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
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I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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