apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize