are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
