thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
