Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize