Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
