I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
