miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
