i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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