And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm determined to sit on that face.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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