I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If I die, sorry about rent.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
