Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
ttyl tear gas
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
