Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We left an ass print on the piano.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
